Tired

Hey Everybody,

I am soooooo tired right now. I just got done with a workout..... and my internet at home hasn't been working very well so I thought I'd write on here before i leave the y. Take advantage of the good internet service they have here. So the whole reason for writing in here this evening is becuase I had a very emotional workout this evening. I'm not sure why. I haven't been emotional lately. So that got me thinking.... Do any of you ever get emotional when you workout? Now I know by asking this question I'm setting myself up for dissapointment because as much as I hope somebody might comment, history has shown that it's a rare occasion that anybody actually does. But hey I'm still throwin it out there. Please answer this question I am genuinely interested. I was also thinking it could just be because of the music I was listening to. I was really hooked on the inspirational ones tonight like, Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" thats one of my favorite workout songs and Britt Nicole's "Set the world on fire" another favorite song to workout to. These songs just remind me of some of the reasons I am working out and trying to get healthier. I want to make a difference in this world, in the people I know. I want to go on adventures and do things that I've never done because of either the inability to be too physical because of my weight or the insecurity I felt/feel with the way I look because of my weight. I am so proud of how far I've come but when I look at myself in the mirror in my workout clothes I just don't feel that different. Or when I think about going to try on dresses for my sisters wedding. I get nervous cause I know going from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18 is amazing but thats still a pretty big size for a bridesmaid dress. Those sizes aren't usually just hanging around the bridal shops. I just don't feel like it's good enough yet and I'm getting down to crunch time (lol no pun intended) I had a nightmare about a week ago that I was at the rehearsal dinner and realized I hadn't gotten my dress for the wedding the next day. I freaked out when I woke up all with this need to find a dress NOW! Now I've been kind of freaking out about it wanting to hurry to get a dress but at the same time I want to give myself enough time to lose more weight cause I am losing little bits at a time. I don't know what my last check in weight was on here but last time I checked (after a week of not eating because of an extremely bad tooth infection ;) ) I weighed in at 193. Which is incredibly exciting for me since I started this journey at 220 lbs. Also I was stuck at the 195 mark for sooo long. I'm glad to have finally beaten it. But in the beginning I made my goal date this summer. Well I didn't meet that goal but I am still on my journey :) Oh something exciting happened this week too. Kind of ironic but still cool none the less. I was at McDonalds grabbing some dinner and a girl I went to high school with was working there and told me she had read my blog. I love it when I hear this because I don't always know who reads this. I love love love to hear when people do cause I'm the type of person who gets really discouraged easily and I figure whats the point of writing in here when nobody reads it anyways.

Wow i've been babbling alot and it is waaaaaay past being time to go home.. I still have a half hour drive home. But I feel much better now that I've gotten all this off my mind. Thank you whoever you are reading this. Good night and God Bless