Hey Everybody,
So I have this renewed spirit in me... I have yet to test it in the gym but that doesn't even matter because I am so excited about this right now. I do have negative thoughts but I'm trying my hardest to not let those get to me. Not entirely but part of this excited feeling is due to a song I heard for the first time on The Biggest Loser from like two weeks ago that I was yes just "getting around" to seeing tonight. SO the song is called Impossible by Kate Earl and I found it on Youtube and just keep playing it over and over. I feel like it explains so well the things I've been going through on my journey. So here's the lyrics... if I can figure it out I'm going to try to put the video on here but you know me... who knows if it'll work lol.
no matter how hard
no matter how tough
there is no turning back
no way you’ll ever give up on me
no matter how dark
no matter how deep
the challenges may be
you’re gonna find me right here
always right beside you
What ever curve
life may throw
we’re in it together
cause you and i
are building our dream
they say impossible
they say it can’t be done
can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable
they say too difficult
that it could never work
they think that we’ve been tryin for too long
but i know better
i know that we’re about to show them all
no matter how sick
no matter how tired
frustrated i become
you never let me give into that
no matter who sees
no matter who thinks
that they can put you down
go on and hold your head high honey
circumstances for worse or better
are no excuse to forfeit our dreams
they say impossible
they say it can’t be done
can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable
they say too difficult
that it could never work
they think that we’ve been tryin for too long
they can say what they want to
anyway it never matters what they think
they’re still blind and we’re still free
i know i know i know...
they say impossible they say it can’t be done can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable they say too difficult that it could never work they think that we’ve been tryin for too long but i know better but i know we’ll prove them wrong cause i know better i know that we’re about to show them all
Ok the only thing with this song is that when it's said "They say... They can't" for me all of those things are the things I was telling myself. I didn't think it was possible. I believed all of those things about myself and about the things I was trying to do in my life. I don't for sure know when things but man am I glad they did. I just wish I could inspire that change in other people. But for now I'm determined to just be happy with what I've done for myself and to keep it happening.
I finally jumped off the platue (sp?) I've been on for like.... I don't know a REALLY really long time. I was stuck at the 195lbs mark for months... honestly almost a year. I've gotten past that though. I got back to the gym and honestly I thought my workouts sucked lately I didn't feel like I was doing the best I could. But it paid off anyways. I lost 3 pounds. I know I know 3 pounds is nothing compared to the 30-35 I've already lost but I was stuck for so long and honestly that 30-35 lbs added up because of the 2,3,4 pound weight losses. I started this journey at a size 24 or 3X. Just the other day i bought (shouldn't have but did anyway :/) a pair of pants that are a size.... GET THIS... 16!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited.
I never thought i could do this but now I've proven that I CAN. Some people even myself sometimes and people that love me that it's taken too long. Well yes maybe it has but I'm just glad it's happening at all and fact is... yes FACT that people who lose their weight slowly have a better chance of keeping it off PERMANENTLY!!!! Thats what I'm going for here a life change... a healthy life for the rest of my life.
I have so much to say but I really need to get to bed and this has been long enough as it is. lol I hope you all enjoyed this post. I'm hoping now that I've gotten all this feeling out I won't be as emotional as I have been the last week. BYE p.s. I love you all for being on this journey with me. THANK YOU!!!!
Friday, October 21
Thursday, August 4
Tired
Hey Everybody,
I am soooooo tired right now. I just got done with a workout..... and my internet at home hasn't been working very well so I thought I'd write on here before i leave the y. Take advantage of the good internet service they have here. So the whole reason for writing in here this evening is becuase I had a very emotional workout this evening. I'm not sure why. I haven't been emotional lately. So that got me thinking.... Do any of you ever get emotional when you workout? Now I know by asking this question I'm setting myself up for dissapointment because as much as I hope somebody might comment, history has shown that it's a rare occasion that anybody actually does. But hey I'm still throwin it out there. Please answer this question I am genuinely interested. I was also thinking it could just be because of the music I was listening to. I was really hooked on the inspirational ones tonight like, Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" thats one of my favorite workout songs and Britt Nicole's "Set the world on fire" another favorite song to workout to. These songs just remind me of some of the reasons I am working out and trying to get healthier. I want to make a difference in this world, in the people I know. I want to go on adventures and do things that I've never done because of either the inability to be too physical because of my weight or the insecurity I felt/feel with the way I look because of my weight. I am so proud of how far I've come but when I look at myself in the mirror in my workout clothes I just don't feel that different. Or when I think about going to try on dresses for my sisters wedding. I get nervous cause I know going from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18 is amazing but thats still a pretty big size for a bridesmaid dress. Those sizes aren't usually just hanging around the bridal shops. I just don't feel like it's good enough yet and I'm getting down to crunch time (lol no pun intended) I had a nightmare about a week ago that I was at the rehearsal dinner and realized I hadn't gotten my dress for the wedding the next day. I freaked out when I woke up all with this need to find a dress NOW! Now I've been kind of freaking out about it wanting to hurry to get a dress but at the same time I want to give myself enough time to lose more weight cause I am losing little bits at a time. I don't know what my last check in weight was on here but last time I checked (after a week of not eating because of an extremely bad tooth infection ;) ) I weighed in at 193. Which is incredibly exciting for me since I started this journey at 220 lbs. Also I was stuck at the 195 mark for sooo long. I'm glad to have finally beaten it. But in the beginning I made my goal date this summer. Well I didn't meet that goal but I am still on my journey :) Oh something exciting happened this week too. Kind of ironic but still cool none the less. I was at McDonalds grabbing some dinner and a girl I went to high school with was working there and told me she had read my blog. I love it when I hear this because I don't always know who reads this. I love love love to hear when people do cause I'm the type of person who gets really discouraged easily and I figure whats the point of writing in here when nobody reads it anyways.
Wow i've been babbling alot and it is waaaaaay past being time to go home.. I still have a half hour drive home. But I feel much better now that I've gotten all this off my mind. Thank you whoever you are reading this. Good night and God Bless
I am soooooo tired right now. I just got done with a workout..... and my internet at home hasn't been working very well so I thought I'd write on here before i leave the y. Take advantage of the good internet service they have here. So the whole reason for writing in here this evening is becuase I had a very emotional workout this evening. I'm not sure why. I haven't been emotional lately. So that got me thinking.... Do any of you ever get emotional when you workout? Now I know by asking this question I'm setting myself up for dissapointment because as much as I hope somebody might comment, history has shown that it's a rare occasion that anybody actually does. But hey I'm still throwin it out there. Please answer this question I am genuinely interested. I was also thinking it could just be because of the music I was listening to. I was really hooked on the inspirational ones tonight like, Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" thats one of my favorite workout songs and Britt Nicole's "Set the world on fire" another favorite song to workout to. These songs just remind me of some of the reasons I am working out and trying to get healthier. I want to make a difference in this world, in the people I know. I want to go on adventures and do things that I've never done because of either the inability to be too physical because of my weight or the insecurity I felt/feel with the way I look because of my weight. I am so proud of how far I've come but when I look at myself in the mirror in my workout clothes I just don't feel that different. Or when I think about going to try on dresses for my sisters wedding. I get nervous cause I know going from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18 is amazing but thats still a pretty big size for a bridesmaid dress. Those sizes aren't usually just hanging around the bridal shops. I just don't feel like it's good enough yet and I'm getting down to crunch time (lol no pun intended) I had a nightmare about a week ago that I was at the rehearsal dinner and realized I hadn't gotten my dress for the wedding the next day. I freaked out when I woke up all with this need to find a dress NOW! Now I've been kind of freaking out about it wanting to hurry to get a dress but at the same time I want to give myself enough time to lose more weight cause I am losing little bits at a time. I don't know what my last check in weight was on here but last time I checked (after a week of not eating because of an extremely bad tooth infection ;) ) I weighed in at 193. Which is incredibly exciting for me since I started this journey at 220 lbs. Also I was stuck at the 195 mark for sooo long. I'm glad to have finally beaten it. But in the beginning I made my goal date this summer. Well I didn't meet that goal but I am still on my journey :) Oh something exciting happened this week too. Kind of ironic but still cool none the less. I was at McDonalds grabbing some dinner and a girl I went to high school with was working there and told me she had read my blog. I love it when I hear this because I don't always know who reads this. I love love love to hear when people do cause I'm the type of person who gets really discouraged easily and I figure whats the point of writing in here when nobody reads it anyways.
Wow i've been babbling alot and it is waaaaaay past being time to go home.. I still have a half hour drive home. But I feel much better now that I've gotten all this off my mind. Thank you whoever you are reading this. Good night and God Bless
Monday, July 11
Set the world on fire ;)
Hey there!!!
I'm over apologizing for not writing in here. It may still be true (which it is) B.U.T. I'm sure your sick of hearing it and I'm sick of saying it soooo....
The point of this post (because yes I feel the need to to have a point to every post I right) is that I don't think weightloss has to be the only topic of my discussions on here. What I mean by this is that when my life started to change with my weightloss, it's not the only thing that changed in my life. I feel my relationship with God also changed for the better. I'm going to share the lyrics to one of my current favorite songs with you because I really feel it explains how I feel.
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
My hands, my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
Wanna set the world on fire, yeah
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do, no
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
'Cause Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire
I feel this explains the way I feel right now in my life so well because before I started losing weight I didn't think I could do anything with my life. I thought I would always be fat. And that would always stand in the way of making my dreams come true. And the biggest mistake of all.... I thought I was in charge of my own life and what was to be or was not to be... lol I know that sounds kind of confusing but I hope you understand anyways :) What I'm trying to say is that I realize that I CAN do the things I've always dreamed of but Only with God's HELP. Also that my life and body doesn't belong to me. It belongs to God and everything happens for a reason. And this body he gave me is a gift. My life, My body, My Money, My possesions they're not really mine. They're all Gods He's just letting me borrow them and supposedly I'm supposed to be caring for them. Like I would care for somebody's children, pets, plants, etc. I've been doing a lousy job of taking care of this life and body God has given me to take care of. I'm sorry I'm getting away on a little bit of a tangent here. anyways starbucks is closing and kicking me out... not really but i know how it feels to be closing and i'm sure they want to leave so.... BYE
I'm over apologizing for not writing in here. It may still be true (which it is) B.U.T. I'm sure your sick of hearing it and I'm sick of saying it soooo....
The point of this post (because yes I feel the need to to have a point to every post I right) is that I don't think weightloss has to be the only topic of my discussions on here. What I mean by this is that when my life started to change with my weightloss, it's not the only thing that changed in my life. I feel my relationship with God also changed for the better. I'm going to share the lyrics to one of my current favorite songs with you because I really feel it explains how I feel.
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
My hands, my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
Wanna set the world on fire, yeah
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do, no
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
'Cause Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire
I feel this explains the way I feel right now in my life so well because before I started losing weight I didn't think I could do anything with my life. I thought I would always be fat. And that would always stand in the way of making my dreams come true. And the biggest mistake of all.... I thought I was in charge of my own life and what was to be or was not to be... lol I know that sounds kind of confusing but I hope you understand anyways :) What I'm trying to say is that I realize that I CAN do the things I've always dreamed of but Only with God's HELP. Also that my life and body doesn't belong to me. It belongs to God and everything happens for a reason. And this body he gave me is a gift. My life, My body, My Money, My possesions they're not really mine. They're all Gods He's just letting me borrow them and supposedly I'm supposed to be caring for them. Like I would care for somebody's children, pets, plants, etc. I've been doing a lousy job of taking care of this life and body God has given me to take care of. I'm sorry I'm getting away on a little bit of a tangent here. anyways starbucks is closing and kicking me out... not really but i know how it feels to be closing and i'm sure they want to leave so.... BYE
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