Tired

Hey Everybody,

I am soooooo tired right now. I just got done with a workout..... and my internet at home hasn't been working very well so I thought I'd write on here before i leave the y. Take advantage of the good internet service they have here. So the whole reason for writing in here this evening is becuase I had a very emotional workout this evening. I'm not sure why. I haven't been emotional lately. So that got me thinking.... Do any of you ever get emotional when you workout? Now I know by asking this question I'm setting myself up for dissapointment because as much as I hope somebody might comment, history has shown that it's a rare occasion that anybody actually does. But hey I'm still throwin it out there. Please answer this question I am genuinely interested. I was also thinking it could just be because of the music I was listening to. I was really hooked on the inspirational ones tonight like, Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" thats one of my favorite workout songs and Britt Nicole's "Set the world on fire" another favorite song to workout to. These songs just remind me of some of the reasons I am working out and trying to get healthier. I want to make a difference in this world, in the people I know. I want to go on adventures and do things that I've never done because of either the inability to be too physical because of my weight or the insecurity I felt/feel with the way I look because of my weight. I am so proud of how far I've come but when I look at myself in the mirror in my workout clothes I just don't feel that different. Or when I think about going to try on dresses for my sisters wedding. I get nervous cause I know going from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18 is amazing but thats still a pretty big size for a bridesmaid dress. Those sizes aren't usually just hanging around the bridal shops. I just don't feel like it's good enough yet and I'm getting down to crunch time (lol no pun intended) I had a nightmare about a week ago that I was at the rehearsal dinner and realized I hadn't gotten my dress for the wedding the next day. I freaked out when I woke up all with this need to find a dress NOW! Now I've been kind of freaking out about it wanting to hurry to get a dress but at the same time I want to give myself enough time to lose more weight cause I am losing little bits at a time. I don't know what my last check in weight was on here but last time I checked (after a week of not eating because of an extremely bad tooth infection ;) ) I weighed in at 193. Which is incredibly exciting for me since I started this journey at 220 lbs. Also I was stuck at the 195 mark for sooo long. I'm glad to have finally beaten it. But in the beginning I made my goal date this summer. Well I didn't meet that goal but I am still on my journey :) Oh something exciting happened this week too. Kind of ironic but still cool none the less. I was at McDonalds grabbing some dinner and a girl I went to high school with was working there and told me she had read my blog. I love it when I hear this because I don't always know who reads this. I love love love to hear when people do cause I'm the type of person who gets really discouraged easily and I figure whats the point of writing in here when nobody reads it anyways.

Wow i've been babbling alot and it is waaaaaay past being time to go home.. I still have a half hour drive home. But I feel much better now that I've gotten all this off my mind. Thank you whoever you are reading this. Good night and God Bless

Set the world on fire ;)

Hey there!!!

I'm over apologizing for not writing in here. It may still be true (which it is) B.U.T. I'm sure your sick of hearing it and I'm sick of saying it soooo....

The point of this post (because yes I feel the need to to have a point to every post I right) is that I don't think weightloss has to be the only topic of my discussions on here. What I mean by this is that when my life started to change with my weightloss, it's not the only thing that changed in my life. I feel my relationship with God also changed for the better. I'm going to share the lyrics to one of my current favorite songs with you because I really feel it explains how I feel.



I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do
My hands, my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me
I wanna set the world on fire
Wanna set the world on fire, yeah
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There's nothing I cannot do, no
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
'Cause Lord with You
There's nothing I can't do
Nothing I can't do
I'm gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire

I feel this explains the way I feel right now in my life so well because before I started losing weight I didn't think I could do anything with my life. I thought I would always be fat. And that would always stand in the way of making my dreams come true. And the biggest mistake of all.... I thought I was in charge of my own life and what was to be or was not to be... lol I know that sounds kind of confusing but I hope you understand anyways :) What I'm trying to say is that I realize that I CAN do the things I've always dreamed of but Only with God's HELP. Also that my life and body doesn't belong to me. It belongs to God and everything happens for a reason. And this body he gave me is a gift. My life, My body, My Money, My possesions they're not really mine. They're all Gods He's just letting me borrow them and supposedly I'm supposed to be caring for them. Like I would care for somebody's children, pets, plants, etc. I've been doing a lousy job of taking care of this life and body God has given me to take care of. I'm sorry I'm getting away on a little bit of a tangent here. anyways starbucks is closing and kicking me out... not really but i know how it feels to be closing and i'm sure they want to leave so.... BYE

wow

Hey Everybody,

I didn't realize how long it had been since I wrote in here. Thats crazy.... It's been THREE months. :( I'm sorry. I haven't been keeping you all updated on whats been going on with me. The good news is that just because I haven't been writing in here does NOT mean I haven't been working out. :) You may ask what provoked me to write in here tonight? It's that I took a peek at how many views my blog has gotten in the last three months and in January (the last time I wrote) I had over 200 views but what really caught me off guard is that even though I haven't been writing my blog has been having over 50 views a month. I might as well give people an update on whats going on with me.

First off I haven't been having a whole lot of results but my winter was very rough for a lot of reasons. I'm not going to go into all that right now but, just know I've started over. Something that encourages me is the results I've had in the past. I know now that I CAN lose weight on my own. It's just time to start doing it again. I have been going to the gym but not as much as I know I can and should be. I'm hoping that by starting this relationship back up between me and my blog followers we can all get back on track together.

I don't know about any of you but it helps me A TON to get feedback. So I'm going to start this .... Renewal? with an opening for any of you who read this to ask me any question you want... weightloss journey related or not. Feel free to do so in the comment section below. I would love love love to get a conversation started. Please don't give up on me. I want to thank God for putting this drive back in me. And ask all of you for your help in my journey. Thanks for stickin with me.

Talk to ya soon ;) Kelly