Hey Everybody,
I know it's been like FOREVER. But thats ok cause SOOO much has changed for me :) I'm literally starting to cry right now because I'm so inspired. Who you may ask has inspired me? MYSELF!!! I have been through alot... But I started this journey two long years ago, but I have NEVER QUIT. I've been challenged in ways I never thought I would be in the last two weeks. And I'm surprising myself. Let me explain whats been going on in my life the last couple of months.
Feb 1st was my birthday... the BIG 25. It totally freaked me out. Mostly because when I was younger I had all these BIG plans and I felt like by the time I reached 25 I should have made it, I would be married and looking towards having children. Well, I am pretty far from there considering I've never been on a date let alone in a relationship, in love, engaged, married, or considering having children. It's nuts. However I can't dwell on that because I am moving up in life. I'm making alot of my dreams come true. And I'm sure having a relationship won't be far off, once I get to that point.
One dream that I am experiencing and am very happy with right now is that for Christmas I got hired as a Nanny. :D I am taking care of four beautiful little girls that live 3 miles away from my house. I for the first time in my life, LOVE my job. And I sooooo enjoy saying that. Now don't get me wrong, no job is perfect but I just can't imagine complaining about this one after wanting it for so long. This new job has also helped me move forward in my goal to be more financially responsible. Which trust me, is something I've never been very good at.
Lastly is something that has thrown me for a complete loop. For my birthday my parents purchased for me..... GET THIS>>>>>> A PERSONAL TRAINER!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Isn't that amazing? This is another dream I've had since beginning my weightloss journey. I've had such high hopes of having a personal trainer and the things I would learn and the results I would have. Now because of extenuating circumstances (death and sickness) It took about 3 weeks after the intial presentation of my trainer to be able to meet and workout together. Our workouts have been going great. I've learned how to use new machines I never dreamed of using. But in addition to that, I have begun to push myself to new heights. For instance tonight while at the gym I RAN on the tredmill, now just to make sure I'm clear, this is not JOGGING, RUNNING. lol I never thought it possible. If your familiar with speeds on a tredmill, I usually walk at a 3.0-3.2 Last Monday a friend of mine pushed me to jog at 4.2 for???? I don't know how long. half a song, lol. But tonight at the gym, I pushed MYSELF to run at 5.0 for 30 seconds. I was encouraged to do this by watching The Biggest Loser :) of course. You don't have to start running for 15 minutes, start at small increments then work your way up. I mean in the past I've always HATED the tredmill. But it's an amazing workout and I want to challenge myself.
Now part of the reason for emotion and the beginning of this post is because for the last few days I have been having a problem with my current personal trainer. I won't go into detail but to sum it up he has hurt my feelings on more than one occasion and made me feel like crap (which I've been fighting) and this discourages me and the old me would have gave up immediately and said, "I've failed, just like I always do, I can't do this" But as many people in the last couple of weeks and months have pointed out to me, I started this journey, I have not given up, and I can continue. I'm here to say they are right and I WILL continue. This journey is between ME and GOD. Anybody else involved is purely there to HELP. I am the one making this happen and I will not let anybody discourage me or stop me from making my dream come true, I've come to far to let anybody get in my way. I am declaring May 19th my sisters wedding day as my "comming out party" I will present the "new me" to all my family and loved ones. If they haven't already seen, they will then see a new and improved Kelly. A woman who loves herself and is HAPPY. If I can make it through this I can make it through anything.
Now it is waaaaay past MY bedtime and I can guarentee those 4 little girls will not understand me being extremely tired tommorow becuase I had to go workout and write in my blog tonight lol. So to close this post I would like to thank all of you who have been with me on this journey encouraging me and listening to me. This journey is not over, in a way I've only just begun. But lets continue on this journey. Hopefully it won't be another 4 months before we reunite. But if it is I'll be yet again another new woman and that point. GOODNIGHT ALL :)
TOnights ENcouraging SOng......
Free to be me.
Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistelli
At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see
(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt
(Chorus)
And you’re free to be you
Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though
I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me
Monday, March 5
Friday, October 21
Impossible?..... NOT!!!!
Hey Everybody,
So I have this renewed spirit in me... I have yet to test it in the gym but that doesn't even matter because I am so excited about this right now. I do have negative thoughts but I'm trying my hardest to not let those get to me. Not entirely but part of this excited feeling is due to a song I heard for the first time on The Biggest Loser from like two weeks ago that I was yes just "getting around" to seeing tonight. SO the song is called Impossible by Kate Earl and I found it on Youtube and just keep playing it over and over. I feel like it explains so well the things I've been going through on my journey. So here's the lyrics... if I can figure it out I'm going to try to put the video on here but you know me... who knows if it'll work lol.
no matter how hard
no matter how tough
there is no turning back
no way you’ll ever give up on me
no matter how dark
no matter how deep
the challenges may be
you’re gonna find me right here
always right beside you
What ever curve
life may throw
we’re in it together
cause you and i
are building our dream
they say impossible
they say it can’t be done
can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable
they say too difficult
that it could never work
they think that we’ve been tryin for too long
but i know better
i know that we’re about to show them all
no matter how sick
no matter how tired
frustrated i become
you never let me give into that
no matter who sees
no matter who thinks
that they can put you down
go on and hold your head high honey
circumstances for worse or better
are no excuse to forfeit our dreams
they say impossible
they say it can’t be done
can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable
they say too difficult
that it could never work
they think that we’ve been tryin for too long
they can say what they want to
anyway it never matters what they think
they’re still blind and we’re still free
i know i know i know...
they say impossible they say it can’t be done can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable they say too difficult that it could never work they think that we’ve been tryin for too long but i know better but i know we’ll prove them wrong cause i know better i know that we’re about to show them all
Ok the only thing with this song is that when it's said "They say... They can't" for me all of those things are the things I was telling myself. I didn't think it was possible. I believed all of those things about myself and about the things I was trying to do in my life. I don't for sure know when things but man am I glad they did. I just wish I could inspire that change in other people. But for now I'm determined to just be happy with what I've done for myself and to keep it happening.
I finally jumped off the platue (sp?) I've been on for like.... I don't know a REALLY really long time. I was stuck at the 195lbs mark for months... honestly almost a year. I've gotten past that though. I got back to the gym and honestly I thought my workouts sucked lately I didn't feel like I was doing the best I could. But it paid off anyways. I lost 3 pounds. I know I know 3 pounds is nothing compared to the 30-35 I've already lost but I was stuck for so long and honestly that 30-35 lbs added up because of the 2,3,4 pound weight losses. I started this journey at a size 24 or 3X. Just the other day i bought (shouldn't have but did anyway :/) a pair of pants that are a size.... GET THIS... 16!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited.
I never thought i could do this but now I've proven that I CAN. Some people even myself sometimes and people that love me that it's taken too long. Well yes maybe it has but I'm just glad it's happening at all and fact is... yes FACT that people who lose their weight slowly have a better chance of keeping it off PERMANENTLY!!!! Thats what I'm going for here a life change... a healthy life for the rest of my life.
I have so much to say but I really need to get to bed and this has been long enough as it is. lol I hope you all enjoyed this post. I'm hoping now that I've gotten all this feeling out I won't be as emotional as I have been the last week. BYE p.s. I love you all for being on this journey with me. THANK YOU!!!!
So I have this renewed spirit in me... I have yet to test it in the gym but that doesn't even matter because I am so excited about this right now. I do have negative thoughts but I'm trying my hardest to not let those get to me. Not entirely but part of this excited feeling is due to a song I heard for the first time on The Biggest Loser from like two weeks ago that I was yes just "getting around" to seeing tonight. SO the song is called Impossible by Kate Earl and I found it on Youtube and just keep playing it over and over. I feel like it explains so well the things I've been going through on my journey. So here's the lyrics... if I can figure it out I'm going to try to put the video on here but you know me... who knows if it'll work lol.
no matter how hard
no matter how tough
there is no turning back
no way you’ll ever give up on me
no matter how dark
no matter how deep
the challenges may be
you’re gonna find me right here
always right beside you
What ever curve
life may throw
we’re in it together
cause you and i
are building our dream
they say impossible
they say it can’t be done
can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable
they say too difficult
that it could never work
they think that we’ve been tryin for too long
but i know better
i know that we’re about to show them all
no matter how sick
no matter how tired
frustrated i become
you never let me give into that
no matter who sees
no matter who thinks
that they can put you down
go on and hold your head high honey
circumstances for worse or better
are no excuse to forfeit our dreams
they say impossible
they say it can’t be done
can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable
they say too difficult
that it could never work
they think that we’ve been tryin for too long
they can say what they want to
anyway it never matters what they think
they’re still blind and we’re still free
i know i know i know...
they say impossible they say it can’t be done can’t break us down cause we’re unstoppable they say too difficult that it could never work they think that we’ve been tryin for too long but i know better but i know we’ll prove them wrong cause i know better i know that we’re about to show them all
Ok the only thing with this song is that when it's said "They say... They can't" for me all of those things are the things I was telling myself. I didn't think it was possible. I believed all of those things about myself and about the things I was trying to do in my life. I don't for sure know when things but man am I glad they did. I just wish I could inspire that change in other people. But for now I'm determined to just be happy with what I've done for myself and to keep it happening.
I finally jumped off the platue (sp?) I've been on for like.... I don't know a REALLY really long time. I was stuck at the 195lbs mark for months... honestly almost a year. I've gotten past that though. I got back to the gym and honestly I thought my workouts sucked lately I didn't feel like I was doing the best I could. But it paid off anyways. I lost 3 pounds. I know I know 3 pounds is nothing compared to the 30-35 I've already lost but I was stuck for so long and honestly that 30-35 lbs added up because of the 2,3,4 pound weight losses. I started this journey at a size 24 or 3X. Just the other day i bought (shouldn't have but did anyway :/) a pair of pants that are a size.... GET THIS... 16!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited.
I never thought i could do this but now I've proven that I CAN. Some people even myself sometimes and people that love me that it's taken too long. Well yes maybe it has but I'm just glad it's happening at all and fact is... yes FACT that people who lose their weight slowly have a better chance of keeping it off PERMANENTLY!!!! Thats what I'm going for here a life change... a healthy life for the rest of my life.
I have so much to say but I really need to get to bed and this has been long enough as it is. lol I hope you all enjoyed this post. I'm hoping now that I've gotten all this feeling out I won't be as emotional as I have been the last week. BYE p.s. I love you all for being on this journey with me. THANK YOU!!!!
Thursday, August 4
Tired
Hey Everybody,
I am soooooo tired right now. I just got done with a workout..... and my internet at home hasn't been working very well so I thought I'd write on here before i leave the y. Take advantage of the good internet service they have here. So the whole reason for writing in here this evening is becuase I had a very emotional workout this evening. I'm not sure why. I haven't been emotional lately. So that got me thinking.... Do any of you ever get emotional when you workout? Now I know by asking this question I'm setting myself up for dissapointment because as much as I hope somebody might comment, history has shown that it's a rare occasion that anybody actually does. But hey I'm still throwin it out there. Please answer this question I am genuinely interested. I was also thinking it could just be because of the music I was listening to. I was really hooked on the inspirational ones tonight like, Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" thats one of my favorite workout songs and Britt Nicole's "Set the world on fire" another favorite song to workout to. These songs just remind me of some of the reasons I am working out and trying to get healthier. I want to make a difference in this world, in the people I know. I want to go on adventures and do things that I've never done because of either the inability to be too physical because of my weight or the insecurity I felt/feel with the way I look because of my weight. I am so proud of how far I've come but when I look at myself in the mirror in my workout clothes I just don't feel that different. Or when I think about going to try on dresses for my sisters wedding. I get nervous cause I know going from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18 is amazing but thats still a pretty big size for a bridesmaid dress. Those sizes aren't usually just hanging around the bridal shops. I just don't feel like it's good enough yet and I'm getting down to crunch time (lol no pun intended) I had a nightmare about a week ago that I was at the rehearsal dinner and realized I hadn't gotten my dress for the wedding the next day. I freaked out when I woke up all with this need to find a dress NOW! Now I've been kind of freaking out about it wanting to hurry to get a dress but at the same time I want to give myself enough time to lose more weight cause I am losing little bits at a time. I don't know what my last check in weight was on here but last time I checked (after a week of not eating because of an extremely bad tooth infection ;) ) I weighed in at 193. Which is incredibly exciting for me since I started this journey at 220 lbs. Also I was stuck at the 195 mark for sooo long. I'm glad to have finally beaten it. But in the beginning I made my goal date this summer. Well I didn't meet that goal but I am still on my journey :) Oh something exciting happened this week too. Kind of ironic but still cool none the less. I was at McDonalds grabbing some dinner and a girl I went to high school with was working there and told me she had read my blog. I love it when I hear this because I don't always know who reads this. I love love love to hear when people do cause I'm the type of person who gets really discouraged easily and I figure whats the point of writing in here when nobody reads it anyways.
Wow i've been babbling alot and it is waaaaaay past being time to go home.. I still have a half hour drive home. But I feel much better now that I've gotten all this off my mind. Thank you whoever you are reading this. Good night and God Bless
I am soooooo tired right now. I just got done with a workout..... and my internet at home hasn't been working very well so I thought I'd write on here before i leave the y. Take advantage of the good internet service they have here. So the whole reason for writing in here this evening is becuase I had a very emotional workout this evening. I'm not sure why. I haven't been emotional lately. So that got me thinking.... Do any of you ever get emotional when you workout? Now I know by asking this question I'm setting myself up for dissapointment because as much as I hope somebody might comment, history has shown that it's a rare occasion that anybody actually does. But hey I'm still throwin it out there. Please answer this question I am genuinely interested. I was also thinking it could just be because of the music I was listening to. I was really hooked on the inspirational ones tonight like, Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" thats one of my favorite workout songs and Britt Nicole's "Set the world on fire" another favorite song to workout to. These songs just remind me of some of the reasons I am working out and trying to get healthier. I want to make a difference in this world, in the people I know. I want to go on adventures and do things that I've never done because of either the inability to be too physical because of my weight or the insecurity I felt/feel with the way I look because of my weight. I am so proud of how far I've come but when I look at myself in the mirror in my workout clothes I just don't feel that different. Or when I think about going to try on dresses for my sisters wedding. I get nervous cause I know going from a size 22/24 down to a size 16/18 is amazing but thats still a pretty big size for a bridesmaid dress. Those sizes aren't usually just hanging around the bridal shops. I just don't feel like it's good enough yet and I'm getting down to crunch time (lol no pun intended) I had a nightmare about a week ago that I was at the rehearsal dinner and realized I hadn't gotten my dress for the wedding the next day. I freaked out when I woke up all with this need to find a dress NOW! Now I've been kind of freaking out about it wanting to hurry to get a dress but at the same time I want to give myself enough time to lose more weight cause I am losing little bits at a time. I don't know what my last check in weight was on here but last time I checked (after a week of not eating because of an extremely bad tooth infection ;) ) I weighed in at 193. Which is incredibly exciting for me since I started this journey at 220 lbs. Also I was stuck at the 195 mark for sooo long. I'm glad to have finally beaten it. But in the beginning I made my goal date this summer. Well I didn't meet that goal but I am still on my journey :) Oh something exciting happened this week too. Kind of ironic but still cool none the less. I was at McDonalds grabbing some dinner and a girl I went to high school with was working there and told me she had read my blog. I love it when I hear this because I don't always know who reads this. I love love love to hear when people do cause I'm the type of person who gets really discouraged easily and I figure whats the point of writing in here when nobody reads it anyways.
Wow i've been babbling alot and it is waaaaaay past being time to go home.. I still have a half hour drive home. But I feel much better now that I've gotten all this off my mind. Thank you whoever you are reading this. Good night and God Bless
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
