HAPPY!!!!!!!

Hey Everybody,

I know it's been like FOREVER. But thats ok cause SOOO much has changed for me :) I'm literally starting to cry right now because I'm so inspired. Who you may ask has inspired me? MYSELF!!! I have been through alot... But I started this journey two long years ago, but I have NEVER QUIT. I've been challenged in ways I never thought I would be in the last two weeks. And I'm surprising myself. Let me explain whats been going on in my life the last couple of months.

Feb 1st was my birthday... the BIG 25. It totally freaked me out. Mostly because when I was younger I had all these BIG plans and I felt like by the time I reached 25 I should have made it, I would be married and looking towards having children. Well, I am pretty far from there considering I've never been on a date let alone in a relationship, in love, engaged, married, or considering having children. It's nuts. However I can't dwell on that because I am moving up in life. I'm making alot of my dreams come true. And I'm sure having a relationship won't be far off, once I get to that point.

One dream that I am experiencing and am very happy with right now is that for Christmas I got hired as a Nanny. :D I am taking care of four beautiful little girls that live 3 miles away from my house. I for the first time in my life, LOVE my job. And I sooooo enjoy saying that. Now don't get me wrong, no job is perfect but I just can't imagine complaining about this one after wanting it for so long. This new job has also helped me move forward in my goal to be more financially responsible. Which trust me, is something I've never been very good at.

Lastly is something that has thrown me for a complete loop. For my birthday my parents purchased for me..... GET THIS>>>>>> A PERSONAL TRAINER!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Isn't that amazing? This is another dream I've had since beginning my weightloss journey. I've had such high hopes of having a personal trainer and the things I would learn and the results I would have. Now because of extenuating circumstances (death and sickness) It took about 3 weeks after the intial presentation of my trainer to be able to meet and workout together. Our workouts have been going great. I've learned how to use new machines I never dreamed of using. But in addition to that, I have begun to push myself to new heights. For instance tonight while at the gym I RAN on the tredmill, now just to make sure I'm clear, this is not JOGGING, RUNNING. lol I never thought it possible. If your familiar with speeds on a tredmill, I usually walk at a 3.0-3.2 Last Monday a friend of mine pushed me to jog at 4.2 for???? I don't know how long. half a song, lol. But tonight at the gym, I pushed MYSELF to run at 5.0 for 30 seconds. I was encouraged to do this by watching The Biggest Loser :) of course. You don't have to start running for 15 minutes, start at small increments then work your way up. I mean in the past I've always HATED the tredmill. But it's an amazing workout and I want to challenge myself.

Now part of the reason for emotion and the beginning of this post is because for the last few days I have been having a problem with my current personal trainer. I won't go into detail but to sum it up he has hurt my feelings on more than one occasion and made me feel like crap (which I've been fighting) and this discourages me and the old me would have gave up immediately and said, "I've failed, just like I always do, I can't do this" But as many people in the last couple of weeks and months have pointed out to me, I started this journey, I have not given up, and I can continue. I'm here to say they are right and I WILL continue. This journey is between ME and GOD. Anybody else involved is purely there to HELP. I am the one making this happen and I will not let anybody discourage me or stop me from making my dream come true, I've come to far to let anybody get in my way. I am declaring May 19th my sisters wedding day as my "comming out party" I will present the "new me" to all my family and loved ones. If they haven't already seen, they will then see a new and improved Kelly. A woman who loves herself and is HAPPY. If I can make it through this I can make it through anything.

Now it is waaaaay past MY bedtime and I can guarentee those 4 little girls will not understand me being extremely tired tommorow becuase I had to go workout and write in my blog tonight lol. So to close this post I would like to thank all of you who have been with me on this journey encouraging me and listening to me. This journey is not over, in a way I've only just begun. But lets continue on this journey. Hopefully it won't be another 4 months before we reunite. But if it is I'll be yet again another new woman and that point. GOODNIGHT ALL :)

TOnights ENcouraging SOng......

Free to be me.
Album: My Paper Heart
Artist: Francesca Battistelli



At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

(Chorus)
‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

(Chorus)

And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though

I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me