Soooo much going on

Hey Everybody, I won't even waste either of our time but commenting on how long it's been since I posted, making excuses, or making promises about "keeping up" on my posts. I just want to fill you all on whats been going on in my life because it's been kind of crazy. First of all not really most important but just the first thing to come to mind is that my old car was finally actually on it's last let/tire whatever so I finally got rid of it and traded it in for my "new baby" Petey. Petey is a 2009 Pt.Cruiser. He has made my life so much better (except for giving me car payments again.... but that's OK.) Next is that I was recently (re-diagnosed) with Type 2 Diabetes. When I was 12 years old and everything else in my life was changing I was told that I was pre-diabetic and had insulin resistance there is still confusion on whether that was the same thing or two different things but I guess at this point it doesn't really matter. The doctors at that point made it very clear that it was reversible, with diet, exercise, and weight loss. I currently have very bitter feelings about that not necessarily being true due to the fact that I have changed my life (even though technically I had fallen off the wagon)I mean I've lost 40 pounds and NOT gained it back and yet here is that damned diabetes again. Oh and let me "reassure" you it is no longer PRE-diabetes, or insulin resistance, but FULL FLEDGED super high sugar levels diabetes that is "supposedly" no longer reversible. I am according to my doctor on diabetic pills for the rest of my life. Also if I'm "lucky" I won't have to go on insulin. If you haven't been able to pick up on my anger.... I'm pretty damn disgusted by this whole ordeal. I'm waiting on my first appointment to meet with a diabetic educator but while so far I'm pleased with the office that does this, I am pretty, um whats the word? Skeptical about this because from my experience in the past there's not much luck with balancing diabetic dieting and weightloss dieting. A Diabetic diet is sooooo precise. I don't know I've also been being told alot lately.... by my best friend and family who btw I don't think my best friend has EVER read this blog... if I'm wrong let me know, that I've been extremely negative lately, which I'm noticing this post is. BUt I'm soo sorry forgive me. I'm going a little crazy at the moment. ANYWHO enough... "playing the victim" or being a "negative nelly" both things I've been called through this ordeal. On the bright side I have thrown myself completely back into my gym routine actually feeling pretty great about it. And attempting to get my diet back under control which by the way is again my biggest obsticall. (sp?) Ok enough blabbing anyways starbucks is literally about to kick me out... last thing. I've really been throwing myself back into my faith too. I'm not a leader with my churches high school ministry which I love and am really feeling like it's going to be a great thing in my life. Also just praying daily and trying to make everything in my life about and for GOD. ok so thats whats been going on with me... BYE