This is the sunset I want to ride off into some day.

My favorite quote

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not
our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the
world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't
feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not
just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated
from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.



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Monday, May 17

best day of my life :)

HEY EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally and completely had the best day of my entire life yesterday. I wish I could live it over and over again. For those of you living under a rock... just kidding lol I really mean for those of you that aren't totally obsessed with the biggest loser like I am lol.The Biggest Loser was in the Detroit area yesterday and my mom and I went. Ugh I totally can't concentrate I just great news from one of my best friends that I can't tell anybody yet..... anyways, SO I don't want to forget anything so I'm going to start from the beginning. Mom and I packed some snacks and healthy lunch stuff to take with us the night before mom got me a new shirt and shorts to wear that would be perfect for working out in. but I didn't really want to wear the shorts and its a good thing i didn't because it ended up being super cold when we got there. So while looking for something to wear the night before I tried on a teal sweatsuit that my parents had gotten me for christmas two years before that never fit guess what.... it fits now and looked super cute it's what I ended up wearing with the new pink shirt mom bought me underneath and the whole outfit looked super cute (then the orange shirt messed it up but more about that later) So we were supposed to get up at 3am to leave by 4am to get there by 530 am because check in started at 6 and we figured there was going to be ALOT of people there and only the first 300 people got tshirts and only so many people were going to be able to do the challange. So we wanted to make sure we got in and got to get and do EVERYTHING! Well we overslept. We didn't get up until 4am when we should have been leaving and didn't leave until 5am when we should have been almost there. But we made excellent time and got there at 6am and we were still number 62 and 63 in line. Personally I think it was meant to be and I am totally greatful that we got there late because if we had gotten there earlier then we might not have been in line with the people we were in line with. To me that was a huge part of the experience. We stood with a group of 5 other people, a guy Named Luke who we swear is going to be a contestant on season 11 of the show and his friend Eric who we hope can get on as well. THey were in front of us along with a girl who introduced herself then proceeded to tell us a story about how when she was in college she was joking with people and told them her name was amy so then I called her amy and forgot her real name lol. Then behind us was Loretta and another girl who I really liked her name but I forgot it already jeez lol. Anyways we all had great conversation and had alot of fun while waiting in line from 6am to 10:30 am. At one point when I went to use the restroom (porter style) I saw Helen from a previous season getting out of her car so at the last minute I decided to go get a picture with her, little did I know that she would be only the first of many past contestants I would see, get pictures with, and get to hang out with. Once We were allowed over to the area where everything was going to take place, it was so exciting the energy was so amazing and everybody was so extremely nice. The Director came out and explained what was going to take place that day. Then the Producer came out and told us what was going to happen with the cameras and the taping and everything. It was literally being backstage of a taping of the show we were there we were extras we were INVOLVED!!!!! Then the second most exciting thing of the day happened. ALISON SWEENEY came out. It was so surreal. I got a super good spot at the very front of the crowd I was literally right in front of where she was standing and oh my gosh she is so freaking beautiful and skinny skinny skinny this is so amazing to me because I watch her both on Biggest Loser and Days of our lives. I don't know what thy do but the shows make her look bigger than she actually is. THis girl is like stick thin. and so incredibly nice. She looks completely different in real life than she does on tv. As far as past contestants go I met Amy and Shallay mother and daughter team from season 7 I thnk it was also Carla from the same season and helen the winner!!!!! they;re all from Michigan so it was great to see them. Then THE most exciting event of the day not the best moment of the day but the most exciting when BOB HARPER came out for the very first time that day. it was amazing I very much almost lost my voice from screaming sooo much. And I totally got a sunburn from being in the beautiful weather all day. But it was so worth it. I would love to just live that day over and over again for the rest of my life. anyways after we all got introduced to BOB he took us through a warm up to get ready for the day. We did I think it was 3 rounds of Jumping jacks push ups squats and punching. I was so focused i can't even explain it.I didn't feel any pain like i normally would. I felt great was completely concentrated on what i was doing. Everybody should watch for me on the season premiere of next season not as a contestant but definently in the background I have to be on at least once. At one point Bob called me a "little firecracker" I was honored I was the only one that day that bob gave a nickname too. And at One point while I was doing push ups he came up behind me and I didn't know he was there and he pushed on my back while I was doing my push ups. I am so much more obsessed with him now that I was before. Oh my gosh to be trained by this man would be SOOO amazing. He is a genious. So after we did our warm up we were introduced to 3 people for the next season of Biggest loser. Then we had some meet and greet time with Ali and bob for pictures and autographs and such. Scanning the pics at the library didn't work as I planned so once again hopefully I can get the pictures up soon I can't wait to share them with all of you. We then moved onto the weigh in's The three new contestants had to be weighed in for the starting weight and they did it in front of all of us. I was standing directly behind their families and Carla Triplett was standing right next to me we had bonded a little when we met earlier in the day and after the people got they;re starting weights they told us about they're story and why they needed/wanted to lose they're weight this was a very emotional time for everybody watching and Carla put her arm around me while we were watching and we were both patting the contestants families on they're backs when they got emotional. It was a very...... speechless few moments. Then after all that we all got a little break to get a snack use the restroom and set up for our challenge. Which to my relief was a stepup challenge. I enjoyed it soooo much I barely even noticed I was exercising. you see while we were stepping so were those three contestants you see they were challenging for they're spot on the Ranch. Only the first two people to reach 500 steps made it to the ranch the third one had to stay home. It was so amazing two guys and one girl and I honestly thought the girl was in last place but guess what .... SHE WAS THE WINNER :) I was so excited and of course we were all there to support them so my mom and I were cheering on the girl the whole time and of course that was hard on our throats but it made us forget about the stepping we were doing ourselves. After the challenge was over to two winners got to leave for the Ranch.... yes THE RANCH!!!!!!!!!! Bob had to go talk to the person who came in last place for a little while so of course we were all waiting to get to see him again and tell him goodbye. I wanted to get another picture with him cause I really wasn't happy with the one I had gotten earlier. I was taking awesome pics with Ali but couldn't for the life of me get a decent one with Bob I always ended up making weird faces. But thats probably just because I was so freaking excited so anyways I tried one more time then finally said goodbye to everybody and we came home. Oh but then when we stopped for dinner we went to walmart to print my pictures off my camera and my mom bought me some new workout pants that I'm so excited about I had really been needing some new ones I've been working out in sweats which I really like but they're getting....wait for it.... TOO BIG!!!! So I got a pair of workout capris I'll see if I can get a pic in them and when I get a new cord for my camera I'll put them on. :) SO thats all it took me ALL day to write this post but it is now DONE!!!! I let my body rest today but tommorow I'm going to go back to the gym I don't know what exactly I'm going to do yet but we'll see. Write again soon. THanks for all your support guys and be sure to watch the show tommrow next week is THE FINALE!!!!!!!!! xxoo

Kellly

Thursday, May 13

I'm going to meet Bob Harper !!!!!!!!!!!!!




Oh My gosh Hello Everybody,

I am so extremely excited. Carla something or other who was on season 8 I think of The Biggest Loser posted on her facebook about the show being in Detroit this Sunday!!! I didn't really think that much of it asking if it was a casting call (which I have attended in Detroit in the past) or a visit to a past contestant all of these were very good possibilities but then TODAY SHE POSTED THIS.......

"Come be a part of the first episode of season 10 of The Biggest Loser!

Over a third of Americans are not just overweight, they are obese. The question is, are you ready to change your life? If so, then here is the first courageous step you need to take. Season 10 of NBC's hit television show "The Biggest Loser" will be visiting cities all across America and we want to see you, your friends and family all there to make this healthy change. One of our world famous trainers, either Bob Harper or Jillian Michaels, will be in each city to reveal some of the contestants who will be on season 10 of "The Biggest Loser."

That's not all: the selected cities will be given a fitness challenge led by either Bob or Jillian and we want as many people there as possible - all shapes and sizes are welcome, you do not have to be overweight! It is not just about our contestants anymore, it is also about you and the millions of Americans who deserve to change their lives. Although this is not a casting call, our casting team will be there and want to hear your stories. Who knows, you just may be on a future season of the show.

Are you up for it? If so, then we'll see you at one of the cities listed below. Make sure to wear proper work-out attire with no visible logos. You must be at least 18-years-old in order to participate in the fitness challenge. The first 300 people to show up at each city will get a Biggest Loser t-shirt! There will be a maximum occupancy so make sure to arrive on time!

*If you chose to attend this event, you need to plan on being there for at least 8 hours (eat before you come; bring healthy snacks and water).
*Leave your bags in your car or have someone watch them while you are participating. We are not responsible for your personal items.
*Kids are welcome to attend, but will not be allowed to participate in the challenge. If you bring your kids, they will need adult supervision the entire time of the event.

Continue to check back for updates, locations, check-in times and more information at http://www.facebook.com/l/f1332;nbc.com/casting.

May 16, 2010
Detroit, MI
Ford World Headquarters
1 American Rd.
Dearborn, MI 48126
**Check-in is from 6 am to 9 am. Be there ON TIME or you may not be permitted in. **You can park in Ford parking lot 5 and lot 6. These lots are located on the east side of Ford World Headquarters


Right away I decided I HAD to be there I would do WHATEVER it took to be there. So i"ve been super excited ever since getting somebody to cover my shift at work (which I REALLY need to be working) telling everybody I see whats going on ... I mean really I very well may MEET BOB!!!!!!!!! I so hope so I might cry if I don't get a chance to give him a hug and get a picture taken with him. So it's Saturday night I'm super tired it's just after 11pm and my mom and I are getting up at 3am to leave at 345 am to go up there. I hope there's not a HUGE line. As much as I've been so excited the last few days I am completely and utterly nervous... I don't know why but I am a big bundle of excitement and nerves probably what an eight year old feels like before going to Disney world for the first time lol. Ok so I wanted to make sure you all knew what was going on because I will definently be signing on tommorow night or sometime Monday to tell you ALL about it.

Also I wanted to let you all know I am officially fitting into smaller sizes now!!!! I went to Lane Bryant the other day and tried on dresses in smaller sizes they're adorable. I'll try to post pics. Also while trying to decide what to wear tommorow I tried on a workout sweatsuit that my parents bought me for christmas like two years ago that never fit and guess what THEY DO NOW!!!! Also my mom went shopping and bought me some new workout clothes (which I am taking in case it gets super hot tommorow) shorts and a tshirt in PINK cause we're usually pink team fans and they're a REGULAR Extra large size no number in front just regular extra large hehe they fit on the first try both shorts and shirt super excited as Meghaan pointed out at work today next step is no extra at all hehe :) I'm so excited passing out for 3 1/2 hours now lol I'm going to be dead girl doing the challange tommorow lol thank goodness for caffeine :)

Tuesday, May 11

What a night

Hey Everybody,

So tonight has been CRZY!!!! I had THE most amazing workout tonight. I went to the gym around 5-530 did a regular workout with cardio then free weights and my balance ball crunches. BUT then I went to the Zumba class and OMG it was the time of my life so fun I could not stop smiling I didn't even care how I looked if I was doing the steps right or anything. I was just getting an amazing workout and having fun. I am hoping to officially sign up for the class starting in June.

But THEN THE BIGGEST LOSER, well it has me in a whirlwind. You know the saying.... be careful what you wish for? well it came at me full speed tonight. First through watching the show I'm like PLEASe let Michael stay he needs to be there so bad. So during the weight in I'm like please let him stay please please please then he makes it through and ashley's in the bottom. She is undeniebly the person I wanted to leave tonight I didn't think there was any way that Sunshine was going to be sent home then she was and I'm like shit I was furious if you saw my facebook update I made before the show was even over you woulod see that. ;)

Anyways tonights BL made me want to watch the very first episode again. Try to figure out what specifically it was about this season that finally just made it click for me. Obviously I've been watching this show for so long and it didn't happen till this season. My life has changed. I see myself changing on the inside and the outside. I can tell you one thing Daris and Stephanie have encouraged me SOOOO much. As we speak I am watching the beginning of this seasons first episode. Right now I am super excited that my mom wanted me to record all the episodes of this season and not delete any of them. These people are amazing. I mean jeeze it feels like a year ago that this season started. Can you imgagine getting that phone call saying your on the biggest loser? then to lose all that weight and be the happy person you always knew you could be. I mean if you've been watching Stephanie and Sam not only seeing how they've changed but watching them fall in love and how happy they've come. Daris I mean oh my gosh how I've fallen for him. He is so amazing he is so much like me and I have watched him go from a boy to a man in just a few months. I just checked the date that the first episode of this season took place and it was January 5th. like 2 weeks before I started my journey. I wish I had a better showing of how i'm changing. I practically have Daris' speech memorized "I will do everything I can to make you proud, and I will make myself proud to" I think thats how we all feel. All of us overweight people. We want to love ourselves more than anything. I can say one thing I do NOT miss Melissa.

When I was at the gym earlier today I tryed a spinning bike. and I was NOT comfortable. I don't know what it was I had lady working help me adjust the seat and everything but I don't know what it was I hated it. I'm ok on the regular bikes though so I've been thinking of challanging myself in some way. I keep trying to push myself to try something new. A couple of weeks ago I was walking on the tredmill and did my time on the eliptical I was feeling great so I challanged myself to run as far as I could on the track just to see what I could do I was aiming for once around the track. I figured I would really have to push myself but my adrenaline was up and I was feeling great so I thought I could do it. I was only able to go half way around the track. So now I'm thinking of challanging myself on a bike the same way the contestants did on the first week at the ranch. I don't think I'll try to go the marathon seeing as I'm NOT on the show and I won't have the medical personel on hand. WOW I totally forgot that the green team came in first place at the first challange but then theres the gray team right behind them. Thats my guys. :)

So I told you all that I pledged 15 pounds to the pound for pound challenge. I don't know when that is supposed to be reached by but I made my personal goal the finale of this season BL. That is May 25th 2 weeks from tonight. I weighed myself this morning and had lost one more pound bringing me down to 209 lbs. making my weightloss so far 11 lbs which means I only have 4 more lbs to go to reach my goal. :) I am so excited if I just keep making small goals like this, the time will fly by till I am at my goal weight. Right now that is seeming light years away. I know I will get there someday. Failure is no longer a possibility.

*I love it I just saw Bob tell Stephanie that she was 29 years old and she was going to hit 30 looking HOT. I find this so funny because what was Stephanie's welcome home event? Her 30th birthday and she did look HOT!!!! lol I love it*
*I also just learned that Sam is significantly younger than Stephanie which is surprising. Sam is only 23. thats the same age as me holy crap. I thought he was much older.*

I am now however renewing my goal of getting my arms to look half way decent for a wedding that is now only 2 weeks away which I cannot believe. I made this goal what feels like a long time ago. I have been working on my arms alot but I just don't feel like the results are very obvious I actually was talking to a couple of friends of mine from work that are following my journey and they said that they saw a difference but I just don't feel it's very significant. I have this dress to wear to this wedding and I haven't tried it on lately but I'm hoping to look amazing in it. My goal is still to wear it without a sweater to cover up my arms but right now I'm seeing that I've changed but I'm not sure if I do wear it without the sweater it's because my arms actually do look better or if I'm just more comfortable with my body from being at the gym so much. I don't know.

Anyways I think this post is long past babbling lol but I feel much better to have gotten all this out. plus my computer is about to die and I have to get this uploaded before that happens. SOOOO I will talk to you all soon I'm going to the gym again tommorow for another great workout. I'm gettin in the poool tommorow night :) and I'm going to work my arms harder to get rid of this damn flab. I'm going to up the free weights from 8 to 10 lbs. :) I remember when I moved from 5 to 8 hehe.

BYES!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 6

Makeover week :)

Hey Everybody,

Soooo.... those make-overs were AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! Everybody looked SO great not that they didn't look great before the makeover but I'm just saying it completes the transformation kind of. It lets you see how far you've actually come. And when your working out ALL THE TIME and staying on the ranch most of the time spending all your time with the same people week in and week out, you forget how your changing. You don't quite get the perspective. Like Me for instance, I work 2 jobs and most weeks am at one of them if not both at least 5 days a week. One place, Panera bread, I wear a hat my entire shift, my hair does not look great after being in a hat all day. Then I go to my other job, Bob Evans, and don't have time to make my hair "cute" between the two jobs. So what I'm trying to say is that I don't style my hair very often as I assume the girls on the Ranch probably didn't/don't either. Also you don't work out in cute clothes usually your in sweats and tshirts or some type of workout clothes. It's nice to "cutsie" yourself up every once in a while and see what your creating. For me that was Tuesday and Today (Thursday) Tuesday I had some errands to do which included stopping at Panera. So since it was nice and warm outside I wore a skirt and a cute shirt and styled my hair all cute and even put makeup on which is out of the ordinary for me. BUT since I've been on this weightloss journey I've been trying to do more often, it kind of all comes together at the same time at least for me. In the past I've not really cared too much what I looked like. I figured I'm fat guys don't look at me I'm never going to have a boyfriend always relating it back to the stupid guys, not realizing that when a girl/woman gets "cleaned up" makeup on, hair did, nice clothes, it's not for guys lol it's for US!!!! We feel better about ourselves when we do that. :) So I've definently been feeling better about myself by just doing those things and I don't think I would have STARTED doing those things if it weren't for the results I'm seeing with my weightloss. For instance this morning I went to the gym. It has been a VERY long time since I went to the gym in the morning. I love my day when I get up early to go to the gym but I also LOVE to sleep in. Anyways I didn't wear my usual workout "uniform" Instead I wore a hoodie and a pair of shorts that I hardly ever wear (becuase they're "homemade" lol they're an old pair of sweat pants that were WAAAY to long for me so I hand cut them into shorts lol. Anyways I almost never wear them because they showed my "bulge" or "second-tummy" wayy too much I see this as a huge milestone because they only time I did wear these shorts usually was when i was going swimming. I always wear shorts over my swimsuit when i swim because my thighs are SOOO ugly. lol that has not gone away yet BUT these shorts always had a second tummy popping right out for everybody to see. NOT TODAY!!!!! you could hardly tell there was a second tummy at all it's practically almost gone. It's turned into HIPS still very big hips but hips nonetheless. :) I know I'm majorly rambling but I was very excited about this lol. Anyways after seeing this I got showered up (thinking I had to be to work at 11) Got out of the shower and ready earlier than normal so I decided to blow dry my hair (I usually let it air dry) I got my hair cut about 3 weeks ago and people are just now noticing because I'm actually styling it lol and it's SOOO cute I'm practically in love with my hair. :) So I go to work just to find out I wasn't supposed to work today (unfortunatly my hours are being majorly cut, don't worry I set my manager straight that this CANNOT keep up) But the good part is that I got to show off my cute hair everybody loves it almost as much as me. Anyways back to TBL. Sam is HOOOTTTTT I wasn't that into him before and he's not quite my type as much as I believe Daris to be but DAMNNN that boy is sexy lol. I love Daris's hair now that it's cut it can slick it back or have the "bushy" look in the front depending on his attitude that day. I really felt bad for Michael but he needs to remember how far he's come already and just keep going I mean jeez last season Shay (one of my favorites) was sent home the week she lost a whopping 17 pounds THATS INSANE!!!! But even though Michael was feeling crappy after still having to shop at the "big boy" store he looked amazing and cute too loved his hair cut and I always love it when a mans face gets cleaned up, I'm not one for facial hair but to each his own. Sunshine looked like freaking Beyonce I cannot wait till she loses the rest of her weight if she's that beautiful now imagine what she's going to look like when she's at her goal weight AMAZING :) who am I forgetting? oh Koli He looked good but I don't feel like his look changed a whole lot. Not dissapointed just not "WOWED" like I was with everybody else. Oh yeah and Ashley, not a big fan she's done amazing with her weightloss and everything we're just very very different people and I wasn't that thrilled with her outfit and they didnt' really do anything special with her hair so I'm just like "whatever" with her. Hoping she's the one to go home next week. It's getting so close to the end I'm kind of sad. This has been my favorite cast so far. Season 5, was one of my favorites too with Bernie and Brittany, Ali, and Dan. Everybody is just so FRIENDLY!!! I like that in a group of people. I'm interested in what gets more ratings. When they play the game hard core and go against each other or when they become a family and stay friendly to each other throughout the entire show. I can relate myself entirely to this cast of people. It would all have been perfect if I could have been there instead of Melissa always trying to get everybody to play the game thinking that that was all it was about. crazy woman lol. I'll bet you this cast of people are THE most successful with getting to their goal weight and STAYING there because of their positive experience on the Ranch. :) One last thing I want to throw out there to all of my "loyal" followers. I'm getting alot of questions about how much weight I've actually lost. I keep saying I don't know but I want to be real with all of you. I acutally have been checking periodically but I still hold true to not knowing becuase I've checked on two different scales and they both have totally different results. I use my one at home and the one in the gym at the Y. I started off on the one at the gym saying starting weight was 220lbs on January 19th then I weighed in February 19th and I had lost 3 lbs down to 217 pounds I haven't weighed in at that scale again until today and it said I was only at 216lbs which I really don't believe becuase I've seen such a drastic change in my body, and the clothes that I wear fitting so much better. Now my scale at home about a week ago said i had lost 10lbs and was down to 210 lbs for obvious reasons thats the one I'm choosing to believe ;) I will recheck sometime soon and let you know what it said. I did sign up for the Biggest losers pound for pound challange where you pledge a certain amount of weight to lose by a certain time and then that weight is doubled and donated in food to food banks in this area. I had pledged to lose 15 lbs by the finale of this seasons Biggest Loser so... thats what I'm aiming for right now we shall see. Ok well I think this post is long past long enough and I really made up for some of the past weeks of not writing very much so...... I'll sign off I really hope people are still reading this becuase I haven't been getting very many comments latley. But it's more for myself but I really appreciate everybody's feedback even if it's just a good job or even better if your on a journey as well share it with the rest of us. Enough babbling I'm out :)


Bye

Monday, May 3

preparing for makeover week

Hey Everybody,


Soooo I just did something really exciting.... so I'm facebook friends with Bob Harper from TBL along with a bunch of other past and current contestants. So today Bob Posted about a contest that he's doing and the winner gets two tickets to fly to L.A. and two tickets to the Biggest Loser Finale.......... :) HOW AMAZING would that be? I almost cried while I was filling out the form because I was so freaking excited if I actually won. OMG I can't even let myself hope for that. :) lol.

So I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile I have missed you all. I only went to the gym twice last week which is not good but On the flipside when I did go I was there for multiple hours and had GREAT workouts. :) I have three days in a row off from work so I will be at the gym alot in the next couple of days I was really hoping to go today but can't afford the gas my gas light has been on and I don't get paid till tommorow :( first thing I do after getting gas is going to be to hit the gym :) Also we (my parents and I ) are having company over for dinner Wednesday night and I am in charge of making dessert I'm for sure going to make something healthy and I wanted to make something new and creative but I haven't been able to find any recipes... any suggestion? other wise I'm just going to stick with the berry crisp I made for my parents awhile back. it's yummy and easy and healthy but I was hoping to make something new. Anywyas I hope to get alot of feedback. Talk to you all soon. Ohhhhh almost forgot to mention tommorow night is makeover week on THE BIGGEST LOSER. I'm sooooo super excited as I wrote on facebook, THe three most important episodes of TBL are the premiere the makeover and the finale. I wish it was tommorow already :)



BYE!!!!!!!